How to cross a road in Lanka without getting killed

A kingcoconut loaded bicycle and some busses

Like in the animal kingdom, the Sri Lankan roads have a hierarchy. If you want to travel ‘like a local’ and you won’t always have a guide or driver around you to help you, you will have to cross a road every once in a while. Also you will experience the crazy Sri Lankan busses. It’s such an adventure, every time again, that I like to share my experiences with you.

The hierarchy of the road:

The lowest place in this hierarchy is taken by the people walking on the road sides, watching their steps because there might be holes in the road. People walk relatively slow in this country, and they don’t really go aside if any vehicle blows their horn. Because it happens every few seconds, and you won't get anywhere if you go aside al the time. But with not going aside, the chances of getting crushed increase.



Also, don't stand in the middle of the road to make the perfect picture

You see quite a lot of bicycles here. Not as much as in the Netherlands, but still. Mostly older men with a lot of baggage, for example a big bunch of kingcoconuts.

The scooters come next, and the motorbikes after that. Very fast and crazy, if helmets are worn, they are mostly just there for decoration. I haven’t worn a single helmet that actually closes up like it’s supposed to. But a creative knot will keep your helmet on your head for most of the time ;) Also it’s the perfect vehicle to transport your five member family and the weekly groceries. At the same time.

Then you have the tuktuks, that fly like colourful birds through every hole and move quite fast. They are fragile as well though, and relatively expensive. To take a passenger tuktuk, will cost you about 50 times the price of the same distance by bus. (about 50 rs per kilometer). They aren't hard to find (except when you need one quickly). They will ask you 'madam you need tuktuk?' every few meters. You also have the bread tuktuks, which are like driving bakeries. You can't miss them because they always play a very loud and false version of Beethovens 'Für Elise' melody. There is a big chance you will wake up with this sound at least once during your stay. I think this is incredible, because this country can't agree on any single rule but the breadtuktuks somehow agreed to all use the same melody all over the country. There are icecream tuktuks as well, with a specific sound. They sell cheap and tasty icecreams. My favorite is the rainbow icecream for 40 rupees.

Nobody cares

The cars are relatively safe and comfortable, depending on the level of craziness of your driver.


How could I forget about the lorries and pick up trucks? There are the beautiful colourfull lorries which are transporting anything you could think of, from fruits to animals to elephants. 

An overloaded lorry in Pettah, Colombo

Then there are the pick up trucks, which also transport anything but mostly with an extra bunch of people. So a truck fully loaden with wood and 5 people standing on top or next to it, is quite common. Also sometimes they're used as a way to transport a family that is bigger than five members, so they don't fit on a scooter. Of course, they need a nice seat. So they just move there livingroom couch to the pick up truck and there you are, luxury open air family transportation!

The king of the road is definitely the bus. The express busses race. Not just fast, but highspeed. They blow their horn if something doesn’t get out of the way immediately. Some busses are slow, but still you shouldn’t ever get in their way. They win, I promise.

Crossing the road


Crossing the road in Colombo at sunset

Keep in mind this hierarchy. Depending on the speed of the vehicles, you can cross the road just by showing enough attitude. If you act like you are going to cross anyway, even if they wouldn’t stop, they will stop. BUT DON’T EVER TRY THIS WITH BUSSES. Jump aside, hide, run away. Don’t ever try to get in the way of a bus. It’s like getting in the way of an angry elephant. Just don’t.

As soon as you don’t see any busses, hold your hand up like a stop sign, close your eyes, take a deep breath and walk.

You will probably survive.

 

*The author is not responsible for any accidents or damage on account of this blog.

**I love this country. This blog is just meant to be funny and informative. 



Trying to carry the world

Hoping the wind will create some space in my head

When you try to carry the world, but it feels like it is so broken and messed up that you can only carry a couple of pieces. When you pick one up, you drop another. And you will have to walk over all the pieces you didn’t pick up to carry on following your path. But you can’t choose, because all the pieces feel equally important.

WARNING: Heavy blog

Everyone who knows me personally, knows that I am always trying to make this world a better place, and striving for that with everything I have in me. So I had a mini-identity crisis last week. When you travel, you face yourself more than being in your own environment. On one hand it’s good, because you are the only one to decide who you want to be and what you want to do. On the other hand, it can be hard, because who is it exactly you want to be? Which values are the most important to you?

I enjoy writing my blogs, and I had a feeling in this way I was creating some awareness between both Sri Lankans and western people, or in general between people from different cultures. And that’s what a lot of comments were about, people liking my blogs, being inspired.

But some people didn’t like my blog. They told me I was generalizing too much, because “not every house has those flipflop rules”. Or they told me I didn’t check my white privilege; “This country is ruined by colonialism by countries like yours, and now you come bashing that our country isn’t well organized. But that’s because colonialism messed up our country.”

And I thought, naively, that I was only creating some awareness by sharing my view… But apparently I was criticizing and hurting a lot of people, creating the opposite of what I wanted. I wanted to create a positive flow of respect and understanding of people with different views, cultures or habits. I didn’t want anyone to think I was bashing about this country, I didn’t want to hurt them by making them feel like I know better because of my skin colour.

Because I don’t know better, I just know different.

So it made me feel like I should never write anything again. I started to doubt all my values and choices, feeling insecure about everything. I didn’t know how to do good anymore…

How can you strive for equality if you are only looking at one side of the story? But how can you change inequality if you don’t recognize it and don’t pay attention to it?

I don’t want to exclude or hurt another goal or value equally important.

It’s the same with feminism. I truly believe that everyone should have the same opportunities, and women all around the world still don’t have the same opportunities (also in Western countries, send me a personal message if you don’t agree ;) ). So we have to empower them. But by only striving for feminist goals, I feel like I am separating women and men even more, which is the opposite of what I want to do. So how can I ever strive for something without creating another bad thing, in my own eyes or in the eyes of others?

And for the Dutch under us; this is the same with black Pete. Read my four year old but still up to date Dutch blog about that here http://nynkezandhuis.blogspot.com/2013/10/vijftig-tinten-bruin.html.

Life isn't always about roses

Conversations help to sort out your thoughts and worries. After doubting my whole existence on my own, I luckily started talking (and crying ;) ) with some friends. They helped me to figure out the following:

I can’t pick up more pieces of the world than I can carry. I try to pick up as many pieces as possible of this world. I am aware that I am only picking up some pieces. Only by following my very own path with confidence, I can be strong enough to carry some pieces and make a change. And I might generate some strong responses with my choices, but at least I make people think. I might make mistakes, but I can make at least a small difference.

Respect is the key.

Everyone has a different version of a better world. Only with a combination of striving for your values and respecting other values we can reach something. Listen to both your heart, and the heart of that other person who is trying to pick up one of those other pieces of the world. This doesn’t mean your pieces aren’t important.  It just means that other pieces might be more important for other people.
By respecting and understanding the other side of a story, you might be able to learn something and to see where your pieces connect

Because it is impossible to carry all those pieces of the world alone, but together we can!

Travel by trust

People asked me to write a more positive blog this time. First of all; I never meant my other blogs to be negative. They describe my experiences (others might experience it different), and yes, my frustrations. But it’s one of the reasons why I love this country; it never fails to surprise me. This blog will start off with a negative story, but will end positive, I promise ;)

Some suitable Tuktuk Wisdom: 'Come as a visitor, leave as a friend'.

My whole live, I’ve been warned. For strangers, for men, for traders, for girls… Tell me a person, and I’ll be able to tell you I’ve been warned for them in one way or another…

Especially since I’ve been traveling in my own in a ‘foreign’ country (which feels like home), people feel like they have to warn me even more. “You don’t know anything about this country”, “a girl isn’t safe anymore those days”, “You don’t know what terrible things some people are capable of”, “Drugs, rape, alcohol. Be careful”… I could go on and on.

If I would get 10 rupees (which is about 3 eurocents) for every warning, I would be rich. Not just in Sri Lanka, but also in the Netherlands. Also, if I would listen to every warning, I would have no friends and I would never experience a single thing.

We have lately seen that bad things can happen everywhere, even when you’re biking home after work or school.. Even in a ‘safe’ western country like the Netherlands. So yes, bad things can happen in Sri Lanka as well.

But let me tell you something: Life is deadly, and most people die in bed…

And I don’t want to die in bed, lonely, without any good adventure to tell… I’d rather take some risks and enjoy life, with my Srilankan friends and family.

So I decided to travel by trust. Of course I trust my gut feelings (or feel my water, as we say in Dutch), and I pay attention. I don’t do anything that doesn’t feel good. But I believe, most people on this planet actually mean well. And you will sort out the people who don’t mean well quick enough. I know both my parents and my extra pair of Sri Lankan parents are really worried about me, and wish I wouldn’t do this, but I decided not to listen to all the worries and warnings and to travel by trust. Not only trusting others, but also trusting myself in my ability to take care of myself.

Since I arrived, I have only paid for accommodation for 6 nights, out of 54 nights since I arrived. Not because I didn’t want to pay for accommodation, but I feel like you experience so much more awesome things when you travel on trust. I have said yes to almost every trip or invitation. It makes me warm and thankful and makes me appreciate everything so much more. This was possible thanks to my amazing friends, and also to a lot of new friends. People I didn’t met before I stayed at their place. People who just wanted to be kind to a fellow person on this earth. I’ve had awesome tours from friends of friends. I’ve hopped into cars from the mountains around Kandy down to the city, because they were going down anyway. I’ve had lunch and dinner at houses of people I just met. People are very kind, friendly and helpful in this country. All around the world they are, but I feel like people are even nicer in this country. They just want to assure that you have the very best time and that you stay safe, on their paradise island. Sri Lanka, which literally means majestic island, is despite the regular frustrations of locals, the country of their heart. You come as a visitor, you leave as a friend, they say. And it feels like the whole country, including nature and weather, works together to make sure you will. Almost everyone who visits, falls in love with this crazy country and returns at least once.

Even the animals help to make sure you will fall in love with this country

But I am convinced that this concept doesn’t only work on this island. 

We all have been warned for strangers our whole life, and we probably all have warned others for strangers.

But what if, instead of warning and being afraid, we try to help others? If we wouldn’t spend our time and energy on worries, we could have fun instead. We would be connected by kindness and trust.

Then we won’t be strangers anymore.

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I want to thank all my old and new friends who made this possible

·       Aisha and her family (and cats), for picking me up at the airport and for not only providing me a bed, but a real home (with books), immediately after arriving

·       Thilini’s family, for adopting me as their daughter (and sister, including the teasing) while Thili is in Australia, and taking care of me as real parents, even after my blog about the flipflop rulebook ;)

·       Seta and her family, for hosting me and taking me to different religious ceremonies (I even fed an elephant!), and Seta again for being my personal trip organizer

·       Imco, co-owner of Surf City Guesthouse, to provide me a place where I can have some space for myself and do a relaxing morning swim and an evening beachwalk

·       Yamuna, for taking me to the most special party ever, hosting me in her house and lending me her bike

·       Father Ruwan, for hosting me in his priest and nun house for retreats and renewals and for praying for me, my family and friends, and his helper Lalith

·       Lucky and Aravinda, for proving me Kandy is indeed a beautiful city, if you know where to look

·       Buddhi and Thanu from Villa Windsor Castle for providing me a home without curfew

·       Sister Grace for the special lunch at the convent

·       Trevor, for allowing me to feature his tuktuk wisdom picture

·       All the other people who made me tea or food, took me on trips, showed me around, gave me tips or brought me in contact with people who might be able to help me

·       My friends and family at home for their love and support

Thank you!! I feel blessed

The flipfloprulebook

Throwback to my days in Frankfurt, where the flipfloprules are simple

 

Imagine you are in another country, with a culture so different from yours it’s hard to understand everything going on around you. Imagine you don’t speak the language and don’t have the same religion.

Imagine there is an enormous unwritten book of rules you have to figure out, things that are so normal to all the others, that they don’t even think about it. They’re used to their habits and don’t even notice that this is not a human thing but a cultural thing.

For example:

You’re used to have only one rule about flipflops* or other footwear. You wear them wherever you want to whenever you want to. Walking in to someone’s house without taking your shoes off isn’t seen as rude, but taking off your shoes and walking around barefoot is fine as well.

In this new country, the first time you enter the house of your hosts, you take off your flipflops because you know that’s expected. Then they ask if you brought house flipflops. You don’t really know what they mean but they give you a pair of flipflops to wear. You wear them the whole day, and the next morning you walk down barefoot. When your host sees you, she tells you to get your flipflops because the house is “too dirty”. You don’t really care, but you walk up to get them anyway.

Then you find out that when you enter the bathroom, you’re supposed to switch to the bathroomflipflops provided. Also at temples you take them off before entering, but at some of the areas you can wear your flipflops and everyone knows exactly where those areas start and end. Except for you. You’ve never had so many rules about footwear but you try to learn them quickly, slowly start to understand them and follow them as good as possible. But sometimes, for example when you wake up and get out of bed and walk to the living room, you forget to wear your flipflops. Or when you come home and forget to switch your outside flipflops to the inside ones. And you feel so ashamed and stupid that it’s apparently so hard for you to do such easy things.

You can imagine that this brings a certain amount of stress. You are always strained and frustrated about yourself.

Imagine that you are lucky, because you are white* and western and well educated, and people in this country have a certain amount of respect for you based on those random facts.

Now imagine that you are in a country where you don’t want to be, but your own country is unsafe. Imagine that people look down upon you, your culture, your colour and your religion. Imagine that you don’t speak the language, and no one is there to explain anything to you or to help you to get to know the culture, the language and the unwritten book of rules. Imagine going to the bathroom at night, being too sleepy to think about the flipfloprules. You're walking down barefoot, putting on the bathroomflipflops in the bathroom and after doing your bussines you walk to your room with the bathroomflipflops on. In your sleepy mood you take them off in front of your bed and go to sleep again. Imagine this not being seen as a silly sudu nona* act but a crime.

For me, dealing with this situations is unbelievably frustrating sometimes. But I am here out of choice. Imagine being a refugee….

*Wherever I wrote flipflops, you can read slippers. Whichever word you prefer
*Sudu Nona: White madam. In this country, western foreigners like me are referred to as 'white' or in Singalese 'sudu'.

Disclaimer: I love this country